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Betrayal, the Neocons, and John McCain

In an admittedly masochistic act of republican self-loathing, I tuned in to the Michael Medved radio talk-show several months back to see if I could pick up the finer points of sophistry. To my delight, Medved was interviewing a fellow neocon on the merits and qualities of the devastatingly presidential Juan McCain. This should be interesting, I thought. Medved will focus like a laserbeam, and expose Juan for the fraud that he is. Go get ‘em, Mike. I was hopeful.

Despite the hilarity that ensued, I am happy to report that I did manage to keep my vehicle clear of the warmongering bluff to my right, and the socialist divider to my left. What follows is my recollection of the interview. It’s true that I feasted on the poetic license that is mine to indulge, but the basic seasoning of this turkey of an interview is true to the original recipe.

Neocon plant: “Michael, did you know that McLame’s mother is 97 years young? And she’s still going strong!”

Off-my-Medved: “97! Wow! God bless her soul. This proves, it seems to me, that McSame has good genes. Therefore, he should be president.”

Neocon plant: “Michael, have you ever met Cindy McCain? She’s a wonderful woman, Michael.”

Off-my-Medved: “Not only wonderful, Con, but truly an elegant, elegant lady. She’s not as elegant as Laura Bush, not quite, but one can see the similarities. Have you seen my poll on the candidates’ wives, Con?”

Neocon plant: “No, Michael, who won? I hope it was Cindy McCain…”

Off-my-Medved: “…Cindy McCain. That’s right.”

Neocon plant: “You’re a great American, Michael. Michael, I’ve spent a lot of time with the great senator from Arizona, and let me tell you – did I ever tell you? – that Juan McInsane is a funny, funny man, Michael. Did I ever tell you that? He told a joke this one time, and, well, I wet myself.”
r>Off-my-Medved: “Juan McAmnesty is a very, very funny man. It seems to me that he should be president.”

Neocon plant: “Michael, let me tell you about McAmesty the family man. Did you know, Michael, that Juan has an adopted son from Bangladesh? Yeah. Of course, he loves all his children equally. He never talks about it, because Juan is a very private man.”

Off-my-Medved: “I know, Con. It seems to me that this is a very unique opportunity for the republican party. As we all know, Bangladeshi’s are brown-skinned. A very dark brown. What better way to appeal to the latino vote, since latino’s are brown people too? It’s clear that McCain should be president.”

Neocon plant: “Did I mention Michael that Juan McBomb is a war hero? Yeah – a war hero!”

Off-my-Medved: “Cindy McCain is a very elegant lady.”

Neocon plant: “Michael, McWar is the hardest working man in show bizz.”

Off-my-Medved: “Con, in a transparent attempt to not discuss the issues, let’s switch gears now and talk about potential veeps. In fact, let’s spend the next fifteen minutes until the next commercial break when our time together will be over, talking about Bobby Jindal.”

Neocon plant: “Bomb, bomb, bomb Iran…”

Off-my-Medved: “Seriously, who doesn’t like the Beach Boys? Criticism of the 60′s rock legends hailing from sunny southern California is wrong and unwarranted. But about Bobby. Tell me if I’m wrong about this, but doesn’t Bobby look like another Bobby, Bobby Kennedy? What do you think, Con?”

Neocon plant: “You’re right about that, Michael. And when I think of McLame, that’s exactly who I think of, too.”

Off-my-Medved: “The man will be president one day. Have you seen his adorable family? He’d be the perfect veep for Juan, because he’s actually a real conservative…err, I mean, because – did you know that Bobby is actually an Indian-American? And you know what that means, Con.”

Neocon plant: “That’s right, Michael. What many fear is that Obamanation will choose Hillary as his running mate. And then the democrats will have a black man, and a woman. If the republicans could at least have someone with skin darker than Obama’s, even if he’s a man, I think the republicans could take this election.”

Off-my-Medved: “I am truly enjoying this, Con. Tell our audience what you were telling me over the break, that time when the republicans asked McNugget to jump of a bridge, and to his credit, he did.”

Neocon plant: “I’d be happy to, Michael…”

Now, to be fair, this same sugary adulation is served up by the left at their love-fests for Obama. And I don’t know who the lesser of these two evils is. All I’m suggesting is a helping of the truth. Republicans would be well served in more closely scrutinizing McCain and his past, his voting record, why veterans of the Vietnam war hate the man’s guts, why everyone on his campaign staff is a lobbyist, and how closely McCain has adhered to the constitution he will swear to defend. And for the record, just remember that John McShame tells a mean joke.

Edison Coin is the owner and publisher of http://www.articlediscover.com, a great place to find great content.